Felt sooo sleepy until like 4 PM. Ate more tasty things from yesterday, and watched Home Alone.

It’s difficult to make myself rest and do unproductive things once again. I constantly want to code and finish my stuff, but it’s also really inconvenient to work without 2 monitors. █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

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Realtor called me and told me that apartment I was interested (see December 13 page) in is now free, and now just needs cleaning service! I’ll probably be able to see it at the end of the week, yayy!

Went to supermarket with brother and bought a tonnnn of various yummy things.

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When we came out of supermarket, it was snowing!!! Christmas is SO saved!!! Somehow this is rare nowadays.

Went to parents after.

House welcomed me with Christmas tree and cat lurking from above.

We prepared for Svyatvechir («Holy Dinner»).

Everything was tasty and good. Then we ate some candies.

And I went to my room. After a little while my dad brought me cat :3

I fell asleep at 0:00 but since that’s much earlier than I usually go to sleep, I woke up 1.5 hours later. I went downstairs to pee and had the most expensive midnight snack.

Surprisingly, cat didn’t run away when I went downstairs, so I opened the window and got back into cozy bed.

Even though it’s really cold, I always open my window just because I can’t feel cozy without it also being cold while I’m under blanket.

Merry Christmas!

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Went to gym today. The weather was nice again. We went to supermarket and I bought some treats. Ran for 4.74 km this time, which is another highscore.

Told brother about ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

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Some weird guy was doing weird shit on Bluesky with Nekoweb subdomain, so I suspended his account. Then he joined the Discord, was as expected talking shit and got banned. He started threatening that he’ll leak Nekoweb’s database in a hour. ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

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As time came, he posted a file with… 8 accounts, which some of them were already leaked before by someone… So it was a nothingburger all this time, since he probably just got these accounts from some random forum. I just reset the passwords for these. ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

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Just when I woke up, roommate came to me and told me that if I want to move out I’ll have to pay for 3-6 months in advance. I kinda argued with him that it’s not very reasonable, but ended up saying that I’ll think about it. After googling, it seems that usually you have to pay for 3 months when moving out before contract ends, which is reasonable (unlike 6 months), so if I do end up moving out I guess I’ll pay for it.

I actually didn’t sign any renting contract, so technically I could just move out and disappear and they wouldn’t be able to do anything about that. But that’s for sure a dick move. If they’ll be fine with 3 months, I’ll pay it.

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Haruhi is so confusing. I haven’t been this confused when watching anime ever since I watched Lain.

Because I donated to Ukrainian military, I got a video of dimden.dev artillery shell being fired at russians which is cool as hell:

Made a gif that’s possible to make only once in your life time:

My roommate asked me if I wanted to come to his parents house to watch "a movie". I think I misheard him, because I just realized that he probably meant Usyk vs Fury boxing match, since we watched it together at his house a few months ago. I declined because I didn’t want to watch a movie, but if I knew he meant to ask that, I wouldn’t… So I kinda regret it.

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Legs still hurt from gyming a day ago. I told brother telling that I don’t want to go to gym today because of this, but he insisted we go and that I should just train hands instead. We kinda argued for a while, but because he’s usually really forceful we ended up going.

The overall mood was pretty bad. We kept arguing about random stuff. After a hour of training we went home, in the same bad mood. I just listened to music in my earphones.

When I got driven home, I’ve decided to walk a little and get some groceries. It was restful, especially with chill music in my ears.

/\ Bad stuff

Good stuff (must suck not being able to see it) \/

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Tried 99% chocolate for the first time. It’s bitter. I don’t really like it, but regardless, I always wanted to try as many chocolate %’s as possible. After all these experiments that lasted for a year, I think I can say that I like 70% chocolate the most.

I’ve been having so many dreams lately. Hasn’t been a single day without a dream for the past 3 weeks.

After the usual routine got up and cooked triangle thingamabobs.

Decided to start watching Haruhi. I like anime that starts being interesting from the first episode (I’ll pretend that actually first episode doesn’t exist).

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Had to rise Nekoweb prices a little to account for crazy Patreon and Payoneer fees.

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Went to gym and ran 4.33km this time. Another high score. Seems like I kinda reached equilibrium at this point, because I can walk/ran for infinite amount of time now without getting exhausted.

Went to pizza place after the gym.

I’m unsatisfied with this phone’s camera at all. It’s so bad at night and the app itself is really awful. Pixel’s camera was infinitely better. My next phone is definitely gonna be Pixel, probably 9, because I think that might be the most beautiful phone made in the past 6 years.

Took a nap after got home and then ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

Fairly productive day. ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

I’m so bad at structuring my posts. There’s always a bunch of random topics thrown around, because it’s hard for me to make a good transition from one thing to another. Idk what to do about that.

As always, woke up a lot of times during sleep. Seems like when I don’t take any meds I always have constant sleep interruptions.

While sleeping, someone started screaming very loudly and angrily outside. I couldn’t really hear exactly what they were saying, because I was in half asleep half awake state. Eventually I fell asleep again and had a dream that I went to window to look who was screaming and fell down. Luckily there was some building structure just under it and it caught me, and then I managed to get back inside with help of some stranger.

Rainy, windy and cloudy today. Basically perfect weather, although during winter I would prefer it to snow instead. Went to supermarket to buy some groceries, and enjoyed the weather for a while.

After a 2 week break, we went to gym today. Brother was recovering from surgery which is why we didn’t go for so long.

After swimming in the pool we went to a Georgian restaurant and ate some tasty things.

The moon was peeking out from time to time.

I fell asleep when I got home. At night, I felt quite manic but then got tired and went back to bed. It’s still raining and I’m just laying in bed thinking about constant movement of time.

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Actually slept pretty well today, and there was no withdrawals at all. So yeah, bye Zoloft forever.

Ate burrito for the first time, yum.

Did some assignments fixes. Layed in bed for a while, enjoying the darkness, heater and open window combo.

Played a bit of Yume 2kki today. There was no expeditions, so we just wandered to random places. Eventually we got to Blue Restaurant, which is a pretty neat location. It has a lot of rooms, each having it’s own cool thing. Last room though was hell, because you had to kill every single creature there using specific effect. And in middle of me doing it the game crashed, so I kinda ragequit.

Woke up multiple times for no reason. I feel so conscious and active again. It’s been more than a month since I started taking various meds and this is first time I’m feeling like I was before. It’s a curse and a blessing.

On one hand, I’m really tired of being tired. Brain doesn’t work and I don’t feel like doing anything ever. I just wanted to lay in bed forever.

On other hand, I’m once again super active and can’t rest. And I feel like the moment some bad thing happens I’ll be back to extreme anxiety.

I have to pick my poison.

It’s easy to see when I started taking meds (energy chart).

Cleaned apartment and told roommate that I might move out in near future.

Forgot to take Zoloft, so I guess I’m done with taking it now. Hopefully I won’t have withdrawals tomorrow.

Woke up too early today, and couldn’t go back to sleep for a while. Just as I was about to fall asleep, brother called me telling he’ll come in 5 minutes, so I had to get up.

Talked about me wanting to move to different apartment with brother. We’ve decided to call the number for some interesting apartment listing we found, and she sent me a bunch of options. One of the options is really good. I liked it a lot and it might also not get power outages too. But it seems that the person in it is still in process of moving out, so it might take a few days, and it’s still not guaranteed. I really hope I’ll be able to get the apartment, so far it’s the only one that I actually liked.

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Coded site statistics for Nekoweb. At end of the day felt ‘manic’ for the first time in weeks. Since I’m almost done with Zoloft, I’m finally not feeling constantly tired, and I got my life dreaming and motivation back too. Fuck SSRIs man.

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Finally was productive today. Coded RSS feed for Nekoweb and did a commission.

Unfortunately that apartment sold already.

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Found a pretty good apartment. And it doesn’t seem to have power outages too. I really want to start living fully alone, without a roommate. The only caveat in this apartment is that it doesn’t have a computer desk… Ugh, why all apartments have some weird bad things.

Played some Yume 2kki with friends.