Diary · #dream

January 12, 2025

Woke up from a dream with ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

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Parents called me telling they’ll come and visit me and see the apartment for themselves. I got up and cleaned it a little, and then they came over. As expected, they liked it just like I did. We then went to shop for more stuff that I need.

Before going to shopping we went to eat and bought Kebabs. ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

Went to bazaar and bought a rug to be under my chair, so that it doesn’t move as easily. Then went to █████████████ and bought a ton of stuff, some for me and some for them. It started snowing.

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I bought stuff for kitchen, a vacuum robot, a soft chair thingy, a dryer, and a bunch of more lil things. After that went to █████████████ and bought bedsheets and food.

Then we went to parents home.

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This is the most perfect time of the day. I love when it’s snowing and sky is blue like this. It’s only happening briefly when sun is already about to set.

We sorted what we bought, and unpacked things I bought for parents while leaving what I bought for myself in the car. I walked for a bit on the street and suddenly my cat saw me and came to me. We then walked a bit more with him on my hands.

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After eating, my brother brought me back home. We set up the roomba and kept getting shocked that alien technology like this even exists. It first scanned the entire apartment and then I made it clean it, which it did in about a hour.

Got my soft chair thingamabob in front of the panorama window. It’s really the perfect place to sit with a laptop and enjoy the view.

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Brother left me and I hopped on my computer. The chair I bought 2 days ago is kinda bad after all. It’s not very comfortable to sit straight and it makes my hands not being able to be in proper position for typing. Uguu…

Just watched YouTube and coded bot. Then showered, felt lonely and sad, and went to sleep.

December 16, 2024

As always, woke up a lot of times during sleep. Seems like when I don’t take any meds I always have constant sleep interruptions.

While sleeping, someone started screaming very loudly and angrily outside. I couldn’t really hear exactly what they were saying, because I was in half asleep half awake state. Eventually I fell asleep again and had a dream that I went to window to look who was screaming and fell down. Luckily there was some building structure just under it and it caught me, and then I managed to get back inside with help of some stranger.

Rainy, windy and cloudy today. Basically perfect weather, although during winter I would prefer it to snow instead. Went to supermarket to buy some groceries, and enjoyed the weather for a while.

After a 2 week break, we went to gym today. Brother was recovering from surgery which is why we didn’t go for so long.

After swimming in the pool we went to a Georgian restaurant and ate some tasty things.

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The moon was peeking out from time to time.

I fell asleep when I got home. At night, I felt quite manic but then got tired and went back to bed. It’s still raining and I’m just laying in bed thinking about constant movement of time.

Tags: #dream #out #food

November 28, 2024: Dream cafe

Every few months or years, I find myself returning to the same place in my dreams. It’s not a specific location in the real world, but more like a strange nexus — a café, a hacker’s den, and an entrance to something much larger all at once.

The place is always at the edge of my city, or at least that’s how it feels — remote, yet oddly familiar. When I step inside, I’m greeted by a dimly lit room with an irregular layout. The air buzzes with an energy that’s hard to describe. A radio in the corner crackles to life, cycling between music and snippets of hacking news. Sometimes, people use it to talk to one another, like an old-school intercom system.

The first time I tuned in without responding, I got «kicked» for eavesdropping, but I explained myself and was allowed back. That moment set the tone — this place operates on its own strange rules.

There are four doors in the room:

The first door is the entrance. It’s how I came in, though I’m not sure if it’s always the same from dream to dream.

The second door leads to a restaurant. This space is brighter, almost ordinary, filled with «normal» people who seem unaware of the room I came from. I chatted with some of them briefly, though what we discussed is blurry now. It felt like stepping into another world entirely — a layer of the dream that wasn’t meant to intersect with the base.

After returning, I met someone from the radio. They were eccentric, bordering on rude, but oddly likable — chaotic in the way that makes you curious about what they’ll do next. They didn’t introduce themselves, but they seemed to be in charge. ██████████████████████████████████.

They led me through the third door, which opened into a short, crumbling hallway. Dust hung in the air, and the walls looked ready to collapse. There was a single locked door at the end. The stranger gestured for me to open it, and somehow, I already had the key.

When I turned the lock and stepped inside, a rush of recognition hit me. This was my room — given to me years ago in another dream. It was small, windowless, and painted a garish yellow that somehow felt comforting. The furniture was sparse — a TV, a few worn pieces I couldn’t fully make out — but it felt like mine.

The stranger told me to settle in and then disappeared.

The fourth door leads to the "exit". But the exit isn’t an escape; it’s a gateway to something vast. Walking through it, I entered a surreal, dreamlike expanse — something like the Nexus from Yume 2kki. The landscape was alive with people and impossible architecture. It felt like a game, though I knew it wasn’t purely fiction. Somehow, this dreamworld was tied to reality, and the stranger who guided me was its admin.

Later, I tried to return to my room, but the hallway had transformed into an open, dizzying expanse of platforms. The pillars holding them up were fragile, crumbling under my feet as I ran. At the far end, I spotted my door, barely holding its place in this impossible void. I ran faster, the platforms breaking apart behind me, and threw myself through the door just before everything collapsed.

Inside, my room was untouched — bright yellow walls and that same sense of worn familiarity. It felt like a haven.

What happened after is harder to recall — fragments of events, conversations, and emotions. I don’t know when I’ll return to this place, but I hope it won’t be long.


Watched Clannad: After Story for the whole day. Literally cried for multiple hours. While this season left much larger emotional impact on me, in the end I think I liked first season more, because this one didn’t have much going on for most of the first half. It was really uncomfortable and a little boring to just see him work. I don’t want to ever work. I hope I will never work and never have to spend most of my life doing something I don’t want to do.

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Tags: #dream #anime

October 9, 2024: Cassette stand

We were traveling through the USA when we stopped at a strange, deserted gas station. It had a weird minigame: after paying for gas, you earned a «gift point» and could throw a disk at a cassette stand. Whatever cassette you hit, you could take with yourself. The person working there warned us only to play if we had gift points.

After I paid for gas, I gave it a try and ended up with some unremarkable cassette I didn’t pay much attention to. Then, for some reason, my friend decided to throw a disk too, even though he hadn’t bought any gas.

As he threw it, I noticed that the spot he was aiming for held these strange, empty-gray cassettes. I yelled for him to stop, but it was too late. As the disk sailed toward the stand and my friend realized something was wrong, he closed his eyes, trying to not see what he had hit.

The moment the disk struck one of the gray cassettes, he was violently pulled toward the stand with a huge force. In the impact, it seemed like he glimpsed what cassette he had gotten, but before I could reach him, he simply vanished — gone without a trace.

I was hit with a sudden wave of anxiety — and then I woke up. I was not able to sleep for a while after, despite only sleeping for 3 hours.

It’s really weird because before this, it was a pretty long and uneventful dream and I had been travelling with him for a while in it.


Law got accepted!!! Now just needs to be signed by president!

Haven’t really done anything productive today. Went to gym and finally went to pool for the first time. When going to gym I realized that my intercostal neuralgia is almost definitely caused by physical activity / muscle growth in chest. I was suspecting this years ago, and now when I didn’t have any pain for months and suddenly having it exactly when started going to gym just proves it. I told this my brother any finally I signed up to get medical check-up at hospital.

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Got really tired after gym and pool. Read SCP-8980, and just… wow. This is the most fucked up thing I’ve read in SCP so far. And I’ve never even seen content warnings in SCP before, it was this bad. But the story and writing itself is amazing.

September 10, 2024

Looks like I can only remember dreams if I go to sleep at about 2 am, since I actually sleep full 8 hours then. It was a bit nonsensical, too much random stuff going on to really make a good story, but at the end I was shown a very cozy bridge over the river by Aira. They then jumped from it and swam to the other side, while I had to go celebrate someone’s birthday for some reason.

Actually it seems that I slept for 9 hours today, so that’s why I’m feeling rested and had a dream. I’ve noticed a long time ago that no matter when I go to sleep, I always wake up at 11. It has been a long running curse for me, as it doesn’t allow me to rest properly all the time, since I often don’t go to sleep until 4-5 am.

As I’m writing this, I just realized the possible reason for why is this happening. About 4 years ago, my brother kept waking me up at about 10-11 am every single day no matter if I had to do anything or not. I kept telling him that I don’t need to do anything today but he never listened, we kept arguing every morning, sometimes we had mini fights, he would take my blanket, would keep coming in my room to make sure I didn’t fall back also again.

No wonder my brain keeps waking up on it’s own now, somehow always perfectly at 11. And I have no idea how to ever recover from this, it’s my dream to just be able to sleep through brightest and hottest part of day.

I looked up some messages and sure enough:

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Man.


Continued coding uExpress today. More progress:

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Supporting multiple mountpaths took the longest time. Got to use a stack for the first time in my programmer life.

Tags: #dream

August 31, 2024

Had a very long dream that I was in Yume 2kki, which was very, very cool. I always wanted to be inside such dreamy locations. ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

Went outside to withdraw money for rent. Got carbonara for breakfast.

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Rested in the park.

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I thought that anime shop has closed forever, but nope! I was just always unlucky with timing. I bought some cool things:

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Updated diary to support multiple image uploads and zoom (image viewer) on all images.

Been kinda researching how other VPNs work, seems like they just use WireGuard under the hood. Maybe I should just use that too, since it has clients for every OS.

Played Yume 2kki again at the end of the day. Drank kiwi Ramune, and it actually has quite a mild flavor. I expected it to be super saturated or something, I’m not sure if I’m disappointed or not.

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August 19, 2024

Woke up from a very familiar nightmare.

I kinda forgot about this until now, but in my memory I had something quite weird about my godparents. I remember them having an extremely weird apartment in the city, which was series of tunnels made as if they’re normal apartment. In the dream I could actually remember the layout from my childhood, but when I woke up I couldn’t exactly remember full layout anymore.

In the dream I was walking in the rainy city and saw a Computer Club and one of my godparents there, and I got a nostalgia hit. I greeted them and followed them into their club first (I don’t think it was that business irl), and then after walking in a bit I entered the tunnels, which all had typical for apartments wallpapers, and it generally looked like a very stretched around apartment. In my dream I knew that once I go even further down, I need to go to the left which would have a larger room and exit to other part of city, but then when I did it in the dream, there only was turn right, and that godparent just disappeared. I slowly turned right and also saw an opening to a larger room, but it was all like in construction, and then I heard them say «don’t worry about below» and I realized that the floor I was standing on barely held me without breaking. And then they jumped on me, trying to attack and I woke up.

I still don’t know if this is any true at all, it might have just been a weird childhood dream that I had (and I feel like I must have had it multiple times).

I’ve had this multiple times when I could remember locations and people from dreams I didn’t have for decades clearly. It feels like some part of brain’s memory unlocks while you’re dreaming.


Very hot today again. Woke up dizzy for some reason, felt like I’m drunk for like 3 hours. Watched Drive movie, which I kinda expected more from. Added site and admin statistics tracking to Nekoweb.

Tomorrow is the last day for me to ████████████████████████████████, and I don’t know if I should do it or not.

Most likely not, the only thing that’s left is hoping…

Tags: #dream
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