Nothing changed, I still have the same mild symptoms. Haven’t been able to do much today.

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Kinda lost about how to properly proceed further with piano. Learning reading sheets and music theory is honestly just super boring. I fear like I’ll just abandon trying. I can just try learning playing songs directly from YouTube videos and Synthesia, but everyone also says it’s kinda terrible to do it this way. But that’s certainly better than just abandoning it all together. And usually such things ignite the spark and make you want to continue further and further, so I might just do this.

Woke up being sick… What the hell man, I literally was sick like just a month before… So far I don’t have fever, but I feel like it’ll get worse.

We will be hosting a Nekozine! And also we’ll create official Nekoweb merch, which will also include my OC. This is sooo awesome, I’ve always dreamt of finally getting something with my character. It’s kinda silly how my character is also one of the mascots for Nekoweb. This all came from me adding a silly art of my OC in maid uniform to registration page. I never really thought about it much when I did it lol.

Spent most of the day just listening to various piano music. Didn’t really do any lessons. I hate being sick!!!

Got woken up by parents going to supermarket and taking me with them. We arrenged this a few days ago, so I can’t be mad for waking me up. I bought them a bunch of things they needed at home. We ate at the restaurant after.

It was good as hell. I went home after.

Felt really tired all day because of lack of sleep. Only did 1 piano lesson.

Then played some more Rain World. Things are getting more interesting.

Continued with moderation improvements. Trained on piano and ███████████████████████████████████.

A lot of people complained about moderation on Nekoweb server, so I did a bunch of improvements like more mods, new rules, and some other things.

Went to gym with brother today, though we just ended up playing ping-pong there and nothing else. Then had some sushi afterwards.

Today Rain World: The Watcher DLC came out! Rain World is one of my most favorite games ever, so I started playing it immediately.

I need to add spoiler tags to my diary lol, I kinda want to talk about it in public but without it being clearly visible without clicking… I played for a few hours, and so far nothing too interesting happened, although something weird is definitely happening with the world. ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

Ended up staying late as always.

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Found this site, and not gonna lie, it’s an inspiration to me. It has a lot of different services hosted since 2010 by some cool japanese person. I strive to be like this. I could be doing something like this with Nekoweb ecosystem maybe. I really like how the sites look there.

Did more piano lessons on PianoMarvel… Ahhh I’m so impatient I want to play beautiful music already…

Piano finally arrived today.

I’m happy to say that it barely, but did fit.

Now onto the endless journey, if I have enough power…

Brother came over and as always made me go to gym.

On the way there we went to mall to buy jackets for ourselves, since the weather is getting warmer while we only had winter clothes. I really hate picking and buying clothes. After some pain, I found something I liked and I bought it. Then we went to the different shop in the mall to buy a different one. I used my card and it denied. Bank was having some maintenance.

I then realized that previous purchase didn’t go through too. We came back to the previous shop, and apparently the shopkeeper was frantically searching for us everywhere in the mall. She was very thankful that we cameback. I then paid for it using a different bank.

After this we also went to optics, and I ordered a 30 day pack of one-use lenses. I was using monthly lenses before for 2 months, but they expire so quickly… I don’t wear them everyday because I often don’t go outside, so it’s much better for me to have one-use ones, since they only expire after 2 years if you don’t open them.

Went to restaurant and also bought some tasty things on the way home.

After I got home, I finally could try playing piano. Was mostly just following the tutorials on PianoMarvel and playing random things on PianoVerse. Let’s see how that goes.

Quite a productive day. █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Life energy is finally coming back after flu.

The synth I bought is listed as 128.3cm on site, and I measured my table and it’s also 128.3cm…

This could be destiny… Though I still worry if it’ll fit. Millimeter-to-millimeter fit doesn’t sound very comfortable.

Added HTTP/3 support to UltimateExpress today.

UltimateExpress is now #3 on TechEmpower benchmark and #1 on the-benchmarker.

UltimateExpress is now the fastest JS server that actually has good and usable API. Express API in general is very good. It was taken as inspiration for huge amount of servers across many different languages. And to have 100% Express compatible, while still so fast… I’m proud of myself.

Played Yume 2kki. Explored the Snowy Village route today.

I finally got 500 wallpapers, which meant I could see the last ending. And I have finally see what’s behind the Door…

Synth was supposed to arrive today, but apparently I forgot to change delivery city from default one, and now I have to wait 3 more days… Not sure how that actually happened ugh…

Didn’t do anything today. Rotted in bed a lot. Played more Hypixel.

Played Hypixel with 12 people in private lobbies. Pretty fun.

I refused to go to gym today. I don’t like it. My brother keeps saying it’s for my health, and he’s right. But every time I go there, I feel terrible afterwards. I dont understand people who say that you feel good after doing physical excercise. I’m so bored there, and afterwards I just feel terrible for «wasting» time there. And I’m always incredibly tired, to the point that I need to recover for the entirety of day afterwards or even for another day. Not sure what to do about that.

I’ve been recently thinking that when I put effort into physical health, I take away points from mental one, and by that I mean that I just don’t have the brainpower to think of anything artistically.

Wasted more time playing Hypixel. Felt like shit for not creating again. I’m constantly thinking about how I should start doing ANYTHING. But to do anything, I need to know how to compose. I need to know how to draw.

And it’s so fucking hard. And it’ll take me fucking years to learn. I don’t know if I can really do this at all.

I’ll start with learning piano, so I finally bought a synth today.

When I woke up, I saw a semi-dream. Something about how a game I make could look like.

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It’s very difficult to think about huge concepts like this without actually implementing them. Back when I didn’t have current version of my site, I used to look at Neocities sites for months and being constantly frustrated that I didn’t have cool looking one too. And I would sketch how it would look, try thinking about what I would add, but nothing would work. Nothing looked good. Nothing felt like it was right.

And when I finally decided to start doing ANYTHING, I suddenly started to get ideas. Suddenly I realized that I can add something here. Suddenly I realized I can add something there. An idea for a page. An idea for a secret. This would look nice. This would look cool. Constant flame, after a tiny spark. And now I have a pretty cool site. It’s on the first page of Neocities and Nekoweb, and I get comments about how cool my site looks almost every day. I’m proud of myself.

I just need to start doing ANYTHING in any game editor, and I feel like something like that could happen again. I would get a rolling ball of ideas to work with forever. I’m not a person to think of entire concept before-hand before doing it.

Played some Yume 2kki.

Went to gym today. Every time I go to gym I feel bad and sad. I don’t know why people always say it makes you feel good. I’m always super bored there.

Just played more Hypixel afterwards.

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Played more Hypixel today.