Had a very long dream that I was in Yume 2kki, which was very, very cool. I always wanted to be inside such dreamy locations. ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

Went outside to withdraw money for rent. Got carbonara for breakfast.

Rested in the park.

I thought that anime shop has closed forever, but nope! I was just always unlucky with timing. I bought some cool things:

Updated diary to support multiple image uploads and zoom (image viewer) on all images.

Been kinda researching how other VPNs work, seems like they just use WireGuard under the hood. Maybe I should just use that too, since it has clients for every OS.

Played Yume 2kki again at the end of the day. Drank kiwi Ramune, and it actually has quite a mild flavor. I expected it to be super saturated or something, I’m not sure if I’m disappointed or not.

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They blocked Twitter in Brazil, which made me think of launching my own VPN service. I made a Twitter poll asking people if they’re interested and I was very surprised to see huge amount of "Yes"es, at the moment 1100 of them.

But actually creating one is a huge pain in the ass… Not only I might gonna need a business entity, I’ll also need payment gateway, bunch of good servers, clients for all platforms (Chrome extension, Firefox extension, Safari extension, Windows, Mac, Linux, Android, iOS) and probably will need to manage abuse. So I don’t know how possible it actually is. I’ll think about it.

Drew smoothbrain migu cuz it’s Miku birthday:

Played Yume 2kki █████████████, which was really nice

Chill day. Didn’t really do anything. Thought of attending piano classes some day. Went to buy groceries. Wrote tax documents.

"I am normal and can be trusted with grocery shopping"

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Slept for 5 hours and woke up from unbearably hot temperature, couldn’t fall back asleep for about 2 hours, and then slept until 5 pm.

I think I finally fixed a very annoying bug with OldTwitter not loading pages and requiring refresh. I also wanted to make ‘boring profile’ detector for a while and also finally implemented it, now there’s an option to include indicators if last tweet of person is retweet/quote/old/non-existent.

Also fixed bunch of annoyances and improved image uploads in diary, now it compresses image and includes dimension data so page doesn’t jump in size anymore.

Few days ago, I turned off auto translation of Japanese tweets and things aren’t so bad! I can read quite a lot of stuff, I really should’ve done it earlier to get actual practice for Japanese.

Ate a lemon. Broke my chair for 20th time.

Just like yesterday, it’s extremely hot today. And weather forecast is saying that it’ll be hot literally every single day that’s available (10 days).

I think summer is my least favorite season. I really enjoy nature, but the heat and bugs are so annoying it drags down the whole experience to the bottom.

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Roommate asked me to go outside for a hour for some reason, so I went to the park. I’ve noticed that today I have really bad vision for some reason. I have myopia, and it varies a lot. Like between 2 times worse and better. It made it kind of hard to find good places to photo.

I sat on a bench and zoned out for about 30 minutes, listening to the birds playing in the trees.

After that I started walking around, searching for a place to eat.

Cozy, but I decided to not go in there.

I really liked this neon sign, and I wanted to go here, but it was full. 😔

Stopped in a more boring place, and ordered Tom Yang Kung, which I really liked last time.

Then I went home.

████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Finally added an option to see people who’s last tweet is a retweet or a quote tweet in OldTwitter. This should make it easier to filter out boring accounts.

Day started from missile explosion. That was loudest I’ve heard since the start of the war. Since I’ve only slept for 4 hours, I went back to sleep. Then another explosion woke me up, but I just went back to sleep almost immediately. I woke up and after about a hour, electricity, water and internet stopped working, so I just went back to sleep again…

Rest of the day was spent coding Diary: added tags, commits, improved mobile view, lightbulb. I think it’s finally done!

Bombing again at night. This is the largest amount of missiles in a day I think.

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Started Japanese grammar Anki deck today. I realized that I know quite a lot of words (about 1500) but I barely know grammar. It’s finally time to catch up.

Apparently today is the █████████████████, so there’s a lot of celebrations in city’s centre.

My parents called me and asked me if I wanted to come with them to city’s centre, which I agreed. █████████████████████████████, which immediately ruined the entire walk for me.

We went to park and there was some singer, but we didn’t really like their songs much so we went to walk some more around the water. After that we went to city square and I bought belgium waffle and lemonades. I didn’t like both much :( Lemonade basically tasted like normal water, and I don’t really like sweet things that much, especially hot ones, so I didn’t really enjoy the waffle.

After that we went back to park and there were new singers, which we liked much more. They were singing and letting the crowd sing with them, so it was quite fun (and I sang a bit too).

Then we talked a bit and mom kept saying that she wants to go somewhere to eat, and I would come with them and pay for it, but because ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████, so I just said that I wanna go home. Then we parted ways.

At the end of the day I finally basically finished Diary! Only nice lamp effect is left. I imported all of the entries and just continuing to write rn. Cool.

Coded a lot of diary today! Its actually getting close to being done. Calendar, pagination, censor of new posts, uploading media done.

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Someone was really hateful at some stupid paid browser called Horse on Twitter. They made a lot of posts about it, and even cracked it. People in comments were cheering and also hating on someone who paid for it.

It makes me disgusted, scared and anxious of people being so vile over such innocent thing, person making this browser didn’t harm anyone or did anything. People are willingly buying it if they want these features, even if its overpriced and buggy.

And I’m scared that I’m hateful of things for no reason all the time too. I’m so frustrated how depending on my state of mind, I act and feel completely different. I can switch between these states multiple times per day, and I’m always disgusted at myself for being like that before. Such realization comes within literal hours, and it’s so terrible for my mental health.

I really hope I can somehow get out from this loop and just be… me… who’s writing this right now and not someone vile…

Yesterday I saw an announcement for a giveaway for free pizza up to 10€ if you buy it with █████████████ debit card and post a photo of it in the comments, and I checked the comments and there was barely any photos there so I ordered 2 pizzas, which barely came in time before giveaway closed (literally 10 minutes left). And they DMed me telling me I won, nice!

The odds were basically 100% for winning so I just got free food today :)

Later today someone did some abuse on Nekoweb, and when I checked their IP I saw that they were using Cloudflare IP. I just thought that it was Cloudflare’s VPN, and checked on proxy checker and it wasn’t detected. I reported this to them and they said that this IP is actually marked on Cloudflare as reverse-proxy only, which made me really confused. I thought that this is a bug with me reading IP from wrong header, but it seems to be all right. So it’s either:

• Cloudflare is lying and this IP is actually used in their VPN
• ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

I highly doubt it’s the second one.

I still don’t know what exactly happened, so I added more logs so I can actually █████████████████████ in the future.

The coincidence has occured again and took 1 day.

Spent last part of the day manic as hell! Feeling really plasma 🍓 I really gotta pick up my pace coding the diary, I’m doing like 1 feature per day.

Finally didn’t feel bad all day! Though I’m disappointed that ███████████████████, I feel really hopeful that ████████████████. Some people said that it’ll be reviewed at start of September, so I just have to hope everything goes well!

Did some good progress on Diary today. Now that there’s essential basics done it’s easier to code since I have actual goals to do. Worked on the text editor and sending data to the server.

My dean just called me asking if I’m switching or not. I replied that I’m probably not gonna do it because of upcoming law fixing the issue. She told me that my semester will only start in October, so this might mean I’ll still be able to switch if things go wrong even not during summer? I think… This is really great news, not only I get more free time but also this might mean more safety.

Went to shop and bought ingredients to fry shrimp. It turned out to be fine, but definitely could be better. Just a bit boring to eat shrimp without anything else.

Then I watched Blade Runner, which was much better than Drive. I fucking love dystopia!! Coded some Diary today too. As always progress is still slow.

Last day to do it… and I’m not doing it.

████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████. I hope I chose the right way.

Spent the whole day being worried about my choice. Haven’t really been productive much for a while now. For some reason can’t find good motivation to code diary, which is why I only code tiny bits per day.

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Woke up from a very familiar nightmare.

I kinda forgot about this until now, but in my memory I had something quite weird about my godparents. I remember them having an extremely weird apartment in the city, which was series of tunnels made as if they’re normal apartment. In the dream I could actually remember the layout from my childhood, but when I woke up I couldn’t exactly remember full layout anymore.

In the dream I was walking in the rainy city and saw a Computer Club and one of my godparents there, and I got a nostalgia hit. I greeted them and followed them into their club first (I don’t think it was that business irl), and then after walking in a bit I entered the tunnels, which all had typical for apartments wallpapers, and it generally looked like a very stretched around apartment. In my dream I knew that once I go even further down, I need to go to the left which would have a larger room and exit to other part of city, but then when I did it in the dream, there only was turn right, and that godparent just disappeared. I slowly turned right and also saw an opening to a larger room, but it was all like in construction, and then I heard them say «don’t worry about below» and I realized that the floor I was standing on barely held me without breaking. And then they jumped on me, trying to attack and I woke up.

I still don’t know if this is any true at all, it might have just been a weird childhood dream that I had (and I feel like I must have had it multiple times).

I’ve had this multiple times when I could remember locations and people from dreams I didn’t have for decades clearly. It feels like some part of brain’s memory unlocks while you’re dreaming.

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Very hot today again. Woke up dizzy for some reason, felt like I’m drunk for like 3 hours. Watched Drive movie, which I kinda expected more from. Added site and admin statistics tracking to Nekoweb.

Tomorrow is the last day for me to ████████████████████████████████, and I don’t know if I should do it or not.

Most likely not, the only thing that’s left is hoping…

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Dad called me and told me he’ll bring me to their house today. Looked at the new roof at the house, ate with parents and touched cat.

After few hours at home got message from potential █████████████ customer, so we started preparing to go back home. Went to supermarket with parents and bought some tasty treats. Came home and fell asleep for 3 hours. Then deployed the thing and worked on Diary some more. Now lightbulb is actually physical.

Feeling terrible.

███████████████████████████████████████, so I don’t know what to do at this point.

Spent the whole day doing mostly nothing again. I have no idea how days pass by so quickly. Coded a tiny bit of Diary, maybe got an idea for how I want it to look like, but it still needs actual implementation.

At the end of the day did JLPT test, ███████████████████████████████████████ and I got 59… This makes me want to cry. 2 years of learning and I still know fucking nothing. I’m just grinding useless words that I can’t even read outside of Anki and that’s it, no wonder I can’t even pass N5 after so long. I’m really so fucking bad at this, fuck. Fuck.