Diary · Page 4

February 11, 2025

Didn’t sleep enough. Had 2 online classes. Didn’t even get up from bed for them, just joined with laptop. Got my assignments and bye-byed. Only got up from bed at 7:40 PM. Cleaned apartment, washed the dishes, put out laundry, and went out to throw out the garbage.

Went to a restaurant to finally eat for the first time.

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Started coding ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████. Finished Toradora and as it always is with romance anime, started feeling intense melancholy and sadness.

Stayed up until 8 AM, thinking, reminiscing, and talking to people. Seems that I’m tired. I’m tired of the constant grind. It definitely would be better if I took more time off to spend on doing fun things.

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Tags: #food

February 10, 2025

Had to wake up "early", at 1 PM. Didn’t sleep enough, but I had online class to attend. Got a short explanation and assignments to do, and was left alone. Then had another class that went the same way, and was free for the day.

Felt kinda sad and anxious for unknown reason. ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

Stared at screen a lot and didn’t have much motivation to do anything. Overcame myself and was productive at the end of the day. ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

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February 9, 2025

Made a bowl of cereal with milk. Despite the commonness, it’s my first time ever eating it. Apparently I wasn’t supposed to put a whole ass bag into the bowl, so I made too much and had to throw some out. 😔

Opened wine and ate Brie cheese. Yummy.

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Drank more than I wanted, so got a bit drunk. Went to bed and fell asleep, and woke up at 3 AM. Quite a bad day to fuck up your sleep schedule. Got up.

It was 4 AM. While at computer, I heard a weird sound. I took off my headphones. I think I heard someone trying to open my door. I took knife I cut cheese with and went through the apartment, but there was noone.

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Tags: #food

February 8, 2025

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Brother and old roommate came over and we played some fighting game on PS4. It was fun, and I didn’t even suck at it.

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Also ate a ton of pizza.

After that we played a card game called Munchkin, which I won! Interestingly, I played this game 3 times throughout my life, each time with around 1-2 year intervals, and won every single time. 100% Winrate.

Tags: #food

February 7, 2025

Decently productive day. Coded ███████████████████████████

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██████████████████████████████████████ Then played It Takes Two with brother.

February 6, 2025

Another █████████████ class done. After that did exam for another class afte and got 31/40. Got ready, and then we went to parents. It’s █████████████████. After that we picked up other guests and got to a restaurant to celebrate.

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There was my godfather’s wife. My godfather is currently at war. I told her that if her husband needs anything bought, they can tell me and I’ll gladly help.

My brother has 2 godfathers. They are close friends of our family, so they were always included in all celebrations. One of them was diagnosed with cancer, and is going through chemotherapy, so he was absent. The other had stroke, and half of his body wasn’t working properly. He basically can’t talk and struggles to walk, but he was still with us.

Once again, this reinforces my fear of aging. God, I really need someone to create anti-aging medication already and I need to be rich as fuck to be able to afford it.

I like that the restaurant had a fireplace. I ate a lot of cheese and drank a lot of wine. Got quite drunk, we had our fun, parents were a bit annoying as they always are when drunk.

Brother brought them home and then we went to my old roommate and he borrowed us PlayStation 4. We never played or had any console ever in our lives. Played It Takes Two together, which was fairly fun, and went to sleep.

Tags: #out #food

February 5, 2025

Productive as hell. ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

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February 4, 2025

Because brother’s room is being renovated and other beds in the house are taken by workers, my brother came over to live with me for next few days. He gifted me a nice tshirt:

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Overall, an uneventful but productive day. Coded quite a lot. I once again got into the rhythm and can code continuously until perfection.

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February 3, 2025

Uneventful. Just coded █████████████ ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

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February 2, 2025: Alive

The year was 1975. My dad, young and impulsive, left school early to attend a tractor college. In the USSR, it was common for students to be sent to different republics for hands-on work. At just 14 years old, he and a group of boys no older than 16 were sent to Kazakhstan to help with farm and factory tasks.

He found himself working on a farm near a tiny village in the middle of the vast steppe, where no more than 100 people lived.

The full moon hung brightly in the sky, casting pale light over the village. My dad was resting in a dimly lit building when two large, middle-aged men suddenly barged in. One of them spoke in a cold, menacing tone: "Put on your clothes. We’re going to kill you."

The man blocked the only exit. Adrenaline surged through his veins. "Is this how it ends for me?" he thought.

Complying, he moved toward the hanger, pretending to search for his clothes. Then, in a split second, he made his move — charging full force at the man guarding the door. Caught off guard, the man stumbled and fell. My dad didn’t stop to look back; he sprinted into the darkness.

The farm was a maze of stables and buildings. Heart pounding, he ran around a stable, the men’s shouts fading momentarily. Spotting a small window, he knew it was his only chance. Despite its narrow frame, he squeezed through and tumbled inside.

He held his breath, listening as the men ran past, unaware of his hiding place. They searched for over an hour, their voices growing fainter until silence returned.

When he was sure it was safe, he crawled out of the barn and slipped into the open fields. Climbing onto a hay bale, he looked up at the moon. Its cold light bathed the steppe, but he no longer cared. He was alive.


Dad called me telling that mom will fry ribs and that I should come home (what an alluring proposal). I haven’t ate anything yet, so I decided to come. I quickly put lens in (only in 5 minutes), and got in the car.

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My room has been renovated with new wooden walls. It kinda looks like an old wooden hut, which is cozy. My brother’s room was under renovation after mine, so my room was filled with random stuff from his room.

I ate and talked with family. Brother was absent, since he was in the ██████████████████████████████.

It snowed a little. Seems like every time I go to parents it snows… maybe I should visit them more often.

My eyes felt really dry and sleepy for the entire day for some reason.

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Went to supermarket, bought some groceries with dad and came home. Then fell asleep. Apparently it snowed quite a lot while I was asleep, and it was already over :(

Tags: #out #story

February 1, 2025

Not sure what I even did today… Layed in bed a lot and then stared at screen…

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January 31, 2025

Did all the tax stuff and everything. Fixed █████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

Not really satisfied with coding speed of person I hired. I really need someone cracked like I was back in times. Ughhhh, it’s so difficult to find someone though.

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January 30, 2025

Did Stochastic Systems exam, and got 12/40. I only needed to get at least 1/40 to pass because of my other assignments, so it’s fine.

Then had the scariest class for me, the one i didn’t finish any assignments for. For some reason, assignments were same as last year so I wasn’t sure what I even was supposed to do. I told her that, and she said that it might’ve been dean’s mistake and called her. Andd she told me I don’t have to do it again and can go! Yayy.

Realtor came today to assemble the door on one of the wardrobes. Landlord is a really annoying lady. Keeps being talking about details that don’t even matter.

Much better day of ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

January 29, 2025

Still felt anxious and sad for the most part. Couldn’t make myself be productive much. Might’ve finally found someone to hire.

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This isn’t winter. I can’t believe we are in the middle of winter right now. The weather feels like autumn, and I genuinely forgot it’s actually winter right now. There was basically no snowy days at all apart from like 3.

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██████████████████████████████████ I hate this so much. Everything is so stressful.

SvelteKit is also being super annoying too. I hate fighting with the framework. I hate webdev so much.

January 28, 2025

Brother and parents came with my new computer. I was excited to finally see it, but they also gave me ████████████████████████████████████████████. Started feeling extremely anxious, so I couldn’t feel happy about new computer at all. ███████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████. Family consoled me, and after a bit we started assembling it all.

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Took us a while to figure out all wiring, but eventually we got this:

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After around a minute, computer booted. Me and my brother tried connect it to WiFi, but suddenly it got a bluescreen.

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We restarted it, tried again, and got another one. And then another one. Weirdly every bluescreen had a different error.

Another weird thing was that monitors didn’t show anything at all until Windows booted. We were kinda stuck, and contacted the support telling them what’s going on. We’ve decided to connect old monitors, and suddenly all boot imagery and Bios could actually be seen. I’ve decided to try resetting Bios settings to default. Restarted the computer. All bluescreens stopped. Yay. And for some reason new monitors also started working before Windows boot too.

For some reason, WiFi speed was EXTREMELY slow, basically unusable, so we’ve decided to go to shop to get Ethernet cable. We went to █████████████ and bought the cable. I also needed some cleaning supplies, so we walked to █████████████ and… ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

Came back home with all the stuff, and brother left me. Started to look into moving the files from laptop to PC. God, it was SO annoying. First, I tried to use Ethernet cable to send everything over. It didn’t work. Computer just didn’t see the laptop at all. Then I tried USB. It also didn’t work. Then I tried setting up FTP server. It kept throwing me random errors. Extremely frustrated, I’ve decided to just use the slowest and dumbest method and just used my old HDD and USB to SATA connector, and sent files there and then from it to the PC. Then all that was left was just installing the programs and setting everything up.

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Tags: #out
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