Went to gym today and trained legs again. I’m scared to train hands because when I did it, my neuralgia always came back. So I’m probably just gonna continue training only legs.

When I came on treadmill today, my bpm was 120, even without doing anything, while my brother’s was 80. This sucks, I hope it’ll improve over time.

Ate a quaso after gym.

It was nice and rainy outside.

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Had to wake up early today to go to the hospital. Got my leg’s arteries scanned, and they are seemingly fine. After that I went to rheumatologist and told about coldness in feet. It seems that I almost definitely don’t have Reynolds Syndrome, which is good. What’s much more likely is that it’s just because my legs are fucked up from being clubfoot and blood circulation is a bit worse there. She told me to get more analyses to check, but honestly I don’t really see the point anymore. Just spending more money on analyses and doctor visits only to be told that "yeah you really don’t have it". So it looks like I’m finally done with my hospital visits.

I can’t stop being happy about anxiety meds. They actually work, and work really well. Unlike quetiapine, which I feel like didn’t do anything at all. Now I can actually do things without being absolutely terrified and don’t feel bad everyday.

My legs still hurt from the gym 2 days ago, which is good. Muscles are developing I guess.

After I got home I fell asleep and slept for 5 more hours.

Decided to finish Declarative responses in Ultimate Express today.

Went to gym today again, and only trained legs.

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Wow, I think anxiety meds actually work. I keep feeling anxiety inside, but it’s very suppressed. It’s an extremely weird feeling. But it feels super awesome to not feel physical pain!

Went to hospital again today. Taxis as always were super duper quick, literally came in 30 seconds! Doctor was kinda disappointing. He checked my legs and said that I’m gonna need to get scanned and get checked at another doctor… Everything was very quick yet expensive. Kinda annoying that I’ll have to go to hospital once again…

Got response from person I made comm for that there was a bug with monitors where pixel density is different from 1. I was thinking it’s basically impossible for me to fix, since I don’t have such monitors, but then realized that I can just open my laptop and have it as my third monitor. I checked it out on laptop, and indeed, it didn’t work.

Seems that robot.js just doesn’t work properly with high density displays, so I had to spend hours on getting screenshots to work with node-ffi. I was very lucky to find some library that had such function, and I finally could get screenshots done. After I switched the screenshotter, for some reason it still didn’t work properly, and I’ve noticed that for some reason, Electron’s screen returns wrong screen offset coordinates for high density display. So I’ve decided to try using node-ffi again, and once again didn’t have much success. After hours of pain and hell I became too desperate and had to open up the beast — Visual Studio 2022. It was much easier to just write a very simple C++ program to get data about displays, and this data had actually accurate offsets this time! So I just compiled it and called it from Node.

After some more bug fixes I finally made everything work. Packaging it was pain again. Because of dynamic import I had to copy some of node_modules and it took a while to figure out which ones I needed.

During me coding all that, suddenly random people started joining the server, and then asked if I made some crypto coin, which I didn’t. It seemingly got 100k marketcap, which is pretty crazy. My site showed 150 people online, and huge amount joined the Discord server. People explained to me that it was just someone trying to profit from my name. Then some guy started sending everyone tons of crypto in server. It was genuinely crazy, and actually sizable amounts ($250+) to basically all active people in the server. He was apparently very rich, with more than 10M dollars earnt this year. ██████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████

Used a taxi for the first time in my life. Was very anxious about it, but it was fast and convenient… As always I’m more anxious about stuff than needed.

Got to hospital and started the trip through doctors. At first went to dermatologist, and they checked all my dark spots and luckily all were fine and non-cancerous, yay! Finally can be not anxious about them for a while, she said to check in after 1-3 years again.

Then got my kidneys checked and they were fine too, apart from small dust that wasn’t really threatening.

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Then went to neurologist, and it was a nice surprise, actually. I didn’t expect that, but she was kinda like a psychiatrist too, we talked more about my anxiety and psychological problems more than about my nerve stuff lol. She prescribed me real anti-anxiety meds!!! Hopefully they’ll do something this time! Apparently doctor for cold feet is different one (vascular surgeon), so I got an appointment for tomorrow. Kinda sucks that I’ll need to go to hospital again, but whatever.

My brother called me at the end asking if we’ll go to gym today, but I told him that I’m at hospital. He went to pick me up and ███████████████████████████

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After a long and nice chat, we went to buy prescribed meds. Intercostal neuralgia isn’t really treatable unfortunately. I did buy anti-pain meds for it, but I doubt I’ll be taking them, because of scary side effects. After I got home I fell asleep.

Then we played a bit of Yume 2kki, our expedition went to place we’ve been at before, so there wasn’t really interesting today. Took anxiety meds tonight.

Ughhhh, I keep waking up randomly and not able to sleep after for a while!!! So annoying… Today I went to sleep at 3 and woke up at 7. I couldn’t fall asleep until 9 and then slept until 11:40. Didn’t feel rested at all.

Set up stuff for more customers and I think fixed FTP on Nekoweb. Went through uexpress issues and PRs. Everyday I get a ton of new work somehow, it really feels like a job at this point.

Went to hospital and got my blood analysis result. As I expected, 2 things were out of norm - a little bit too high cholesterol and too low vitamin D. Also told her everything that bothered me and got appointments to neurologist, traumatologist, dermatologist and urologist. Telling her some things was for sure very embarrassing… Also gonna do ultrasonography of my kidneys. All gonna happen on Monday. Got prescribed Magnesium B6 and vitamin D3 and bought them on the way home.

Basically finished commission. Only packing and final stuff is left and can send it.

Today’s expedition is 0 EXP, but since they’re a good way to find interesting stuff, we went to complete it anyway.

Peculiar room:

Apparently this room is important for an ending.

Went to a wrong world, but it was one-way. Since expedition is free, we’ve decided to just continue exploring this world instead of trying to get back.

I really like pipes.

A very inviting path.

In the end we’ve got to a very cozy room and decided to suddenly abrupt our play for today.

It was already quite late and this room made me want to go to bed, so I did.

Going to hospital soon and will get my guts scanned so I can’t eat today until I get that done. I’ve wanted to get checked at hospital for so long, and it’s finally happening.

Let’s see what I have to complain about:

• Dark spots at my back
• Intercostal neuralgia
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• Kyphosis
• Clubfoot
• Feet are constantly cold from not enough blood circulation
• Anxiety
• Increased heartbeat
• Check vitamins

Well, I got my stomach checked and got blood analysis. Stomach was fine, and I will know about blood analysis result in 2-3 days. This is gonna be the most detailed analysis of my blood in my entire life. But I wanted to complain to them about other things but she didnt really let me. I hope I’ll be able to the next time…

Since I didn’t eat anything before going there, I was super hungry, and we went to some place and got biggest burgers of our lives. Got so full I felt like I’m gonna die. This is kinda why I don’t really like burgers, they’re messy, they’re fast to eat, and you don’t feel satisfied from eating them. I much more like other food that is slower to eat.

At least the atmosphere of that place was nice, brick walls and Frank Sinatra playing.

There has been so many times when I was in a restaurant and thought to myself "this place would be so much better if there was jazz playing". For some reason almost all restaurants play some modern, unmatching to their atmosphere music, and it’s very annoying.

Tried idea with declarative routes a bit more but I realized that it’d only work with ETag disabled in a lot of cases, and it wouldn’t work with if methods are patched, which you can’t really check, so unfortunately it looks like this feature can’t be done. 😔

Brother came over and we started going to the gym, but first went to buy shoes. Saw a cool liminal room:

Today we only went to pool, as we had a free training from a trainer. This was more intense than I expected, and after a hour of training we were quite tired, and decided to go somewhere to eat. There was some place near gym that we were a bit interested in, but we kept being undecideful whether we wanted to go there or not, until we finally decided that we want, but when we went inside it was apparently full. Weirldy that place was serving kinda specific food, and at the same time it was big, so we were surprised that it was actually full.

Went to some other random place instead and got steaks and other stuff:

My brother is always unlucky with what he orders, for some reason his orders are almost always less tasty than mine. We got 2 different steak types and my steak was significantly better.

We were traveling through the USA when we stopped at a strange, deserted gas station. It had a weird minigame: after paying for gas, you earned a «gift point» and could throw a disk at a cassette stand. Whatever cassette you hit, you could take with yourself. The person working there warned us only to play if we had gift points.

After I paid for gas, I gave it a try and ended up with some unremarkable cassette I didn’t pay much attention to. Then, for some reason, my friend decided to throw a disk too, even though he hadn’t bought any gas.

As he threw it, I noticed that the spot he was aiming for held these strange, empty-gray cassettes. I yelled for him to stop, but it was too late. As the disk sailed toward the stand and my friend realized something was wrong, he closed his eyes, trying to not see what he had hit.

The moment the disk struck one of the gray cassettes, he was violently pulled toward the stand with a huge force. In the impact, it seemed like he glimpsed what cassette he had gotten, but before I could reach him, he simply vanished — gone without a trace.

I was hit with a sudden wave of anxiety — and then I woke up. I was not able to sleep for a while after, despite only sleeping for 3 hours.

It’s really weird because before this, it was a pretty long and uneventful dream and I had been travelling with him for a while in it.

Law got accepted!!! Now just needs to be signed by president!

Haven’t really done anything productive today. Went to gym and finally went to pool for the first time. When going to gym I realized that my intercostal neuralgia is almost definitely caused by physical activity / muscle growth in chest. I was suspecting this years ago, and now when I didn’t have any pain for months and suddenly having it exactly when started going to gym just proves it. I told this my brother any finally I signed up to get medical check-up at hospital.

Got really tired after gym and pool. Read SCP-8980, and just… wow. This is the most fucked up thing I’ve read in SCP so far. And I’ve never even seen content warnings in SCP before, it was this bad. But the story and writing itself is amazing.

Didn’t do anything in the first half of the day. Went to gym today, and got to took a better look at the fields:

I really like it when dense city suddenly turns into fields without any suburbs.

We got too tired after gym to go to the pool…

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Body still hurts! Did I train this well? I thought I was slacking off.

Dad called me today and asked me if I want to visit them and I agreed. It’s been more than a month since my last time.

He picked me up and on the way we went to supermarket and bought tasty treats. █████████████████████████████████

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Dad keeps working, even though he’s kinda suffering from some health issues. We want him to go get checked but he wants to finish some work before doing it, and he’ll need to leave home for about 10 days for it, and after that hopefully he’ll be able to do it.

Fixed some bugs in uExpress and uWS and posted about uWS publicly. Switched Nekoweb to use uWS and all of my other sites and services. YeahServer was on average using 4% CPU and it went down to 1.5% after switch to uExpress, and that’s actually super cool.

Played Yume 2kki, we went through a pretty long expedition, which required a pretty clever 'hack’. The path required Drum to pass, but at the same time required you to not have it. Apparently if you make Drum your Favorite effect, you can equip it even after you remove it in trophy room. This allowed us to pass and get to the destination - Floating Brain World. It has another puzzle that requires some weird shenanigans, and that would unlock way to apparently the deepest world of Yume 2kki. But we stopped here as it’d require quite a lot of time and we got tired already.

We finally went to gym, for real this time!

Before going inside, I looked around the parking lot and realized that gym is at the edge of the city. Dense city simply ends and suddenly it’s just endless fields… Which I find so dear and which keep calling me to come to them.

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But I had to resist and we had to finally get inside. We got a free training with personal trainer for the first visit, so he showed us around and told us about some gym things and showed us how to use them. In general, I wanted to go to gym simply because I’m very sedantary and not super fit. I’m not really interested in big muscles and stuff, I just want to start moving more and burn some belly fat.

After doing some muscle training with trainer, we went on a treadmill. When you hold onto it’s iron things, it measures your heartbeat and it was already 130bpm for me, while 90bpm for my brother, which made me quite worried. During most intense running it went up to 170bpm, even though I wasn’t even running 🫣

I googled what’s a good heart rate during running and it said that 170 bpm is already upper limit and that’s usually during running. I think this just indicates how terribly sedantary I am if not even running made my heart rate so high, which is actually scary. Hopefully it’ll improve over time.

After we were done with gym I got another look at the fields and the road going out from city started glowing beautifully.

Brother started driving me home but proposed to maybe go somewhere to eat, but he needed to pick up his girlfriend. He persuaded me to have a dinner with them. It was a tiny bit awkward, since it’s the largest amount of time I ever spent with her around. But the food was nice. We ordered a pizza for everyone (and it was one of the best, or maybe the best pizza I ever had), I got tom yang, they got carbonara and bolognese.

After that I got driven home, and coded a ton of UltimateWS. It’s actually like 65% done now.

It was sunny but at the same cold today. I had my first university online class today, but it was quite chill. After class I decided to finally socialize and went to some student event thingy. As I came there I got a color that split me into one of three teams. We played a bunch of team games, and I left a little early because brother came to pick me to go to gym. In general, it was mid… Idk, it’s not like I had a terrible time there, but at same time I felt like I’m just wasting my time playing kinda stupid games instead of being productive, and so many people around was tiring.

When my brother came to pick me up, quite late (at 8 PM), I told him that I was kinda confused because he said we wouldn’t go to gym but apparently he mistype and wanted to only say that about pool. But regardless, since he came he drove there. And then I realized I don’t have a bracelet that allows to go through… And coming back home to get it would take too long for it to worth to go there again. This is like third time we weren’t able to go there somehow. Hopefully next time will be finally successful lol. ████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████████ Felt quite disappointing.

Went outside to withdraw money. Stood outside for a while to enjoy the rain, and met tailless cat again. Might be a good sign.

I figured out how to optimize IPs! Now I only read IP when it’s required and if any request ever reads it after response was sent I start reading it always. This way only 1 request at most would be lost. To minimize that from happening I also made it always read IP for first 100 requests.

Before:

After:

Now the difference is really small, HyperExpress is genuinely basically useless now, lol.

Brother came over and we finally decided to go to gym… but it was crowded and shitty again… so we decided to go to more expensive gym afterall, because we both got another discount, but as we came there again it was again kinda scam shit with tiny text saying it cant be used for what we wanted lol. But we still had previous discount and we decided to go with this one after all… It’s just like 10 times better and also had a pool. They took so long at registering us that it was already too late to go actually do anything so we ate and went home. I hope it won’t be a waste of money.

At the end of the day found another optimization opportunity of not creating Socket needlessly, which added another +5k.

Started coding UltimateWS today. I was wondering if I should first finish UltimateWS before publicly publishing UltimateExpress, but I’ve decided that it’d be kinda weird to make 2 announcements at once, so today I actually published Ultimate Express. Honestly, I expected more reaction and interest. While I did get about 50 stars, I don’t think it’s a very good result and I feel a bit disappointed about it. Hopefully it’ll grow more eventually.

It’s been a nice rainy day, all day. I’ve been enjoying rain sounds for a while, and decided to go outside and feel rain on myself. I got winter clothes and went outside, and stood in the rain for a while. I love the feeling of being protected from rain by clothes. If I had a comfortable spot, I would probably just sit down and spend hours just sitting under rain, while hiding in my clothes fully. Clothes that fully cover me and allow me to get inside them are so cozy…